Friday, Coffee, and Espresso Cupcakes!

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It’s Friday and we all made it out alive. I hope. My day started out like a cartoon. Woke up and filled the french press with coffee and hot water.Grabbed a travel mug I haven’t used in a long time, but I felt the need for a lot of coffee.

Before I put the lid on I always take a nice big mouthful to get me to my office. Only this time when I raised it to my mouth there was a spider staring back at me. In. My. Coffee.

We are not spider people here. Nary a one of us is spider savvy. First I screamed, then I dumped the entire thing in the sink and flushed it out. Now I was down to my backup cup.It looked perfectly fine but by this time I’m not sure of what I’m seeing anymore since yesterday when I swatted what I thought was an ant and it was a shadow. So I took out my tiny strainer and strained that cup of coffee. It was fine. But by that time I was feeling those pre-anxiety jitters. I have to see my shrink today. It’s a thing I have to do before the transplant so I was already a little amped up. Instead of giving in to it, I just made another pot of coffee and all is now right with the world.

I don’t mind going to see my psych doctor. He is from Mississippi too, so we usually end up lamenting the foods we miss from home. But this time I am going to have to talk to him about how I feel about this surgery. The fact that I will be asleep the entire time is not comforting to me. A million things could happen while I’m out. How well do we know this anesthesiologist guy anyway? I mean he could have been up drinking half the night for all I know. And speaking of that, who in the hell is at their best at 6 a.m.? Have they had their coffee? Are they cool, sober and ready to make history here?

My Momma says it will be fine. I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. I’m being overly dramatic. And she’s right. I know that logically, but emotionally, not so much. So I’m going to try and keep it together and remember what Corbin (4) said. Wow! Maybe you’ll have super powers!

xx Patricia

Anxiety. The What If of Life.

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Hope, Courage and Strength. All of these are running through my mind this morning!

Yesterday afternoon the surgeon’s office called to let me know that I will be having my scar removal and corneal transplant on the 23rd of February. We went over all of the pre-op and post-op instructions and then I spoke with the anesthesiologist who gave me his instructions. No eating or drinking after midnight. Not a problem for me. No jewelry, no makeup and bring a shirt that buttons up the front. Not sure about that one.

So I was all at once anxious and glad I now had the date. Since I have promised myself I will not do any more research and look at pictures of eyeballs, I’m not sure how I feel now. Resigned I guess but I’m sure Anxiety will rear her ugly head as I get closer to the date.

Anxiety is that little devil on my shoulder that says ‘Hey, you should make sure your surgeon and all the other O.R. people aren’t on drugs or alcohol. What would happen if one of them had the shakes?’ That is what anxiety is. The What Ifs of Life. Anxiety is not logical, but it does have the power to bring you to your knees some days.

Happy Reading   xxPatricia

A Pirate’s Life…October Edition

Now that this Pirate has her vision back, the entire Pirate Nation is happy and content. My boys are doing well in the Post Season, Football is a toss up on the college and NFL fronts. Who knows what’s going on. Hockey and Basketball is on and I realize I may need 2 more televisions to keep up with all my teams. Which brings me to my Aha moment of the month.Football, American Football, Sport, Ball

I’ve been sort of sidelined with the eye situation so I’ve become addicted to Hoarders.How to deal with hoarder homes. Strategies and tips for clearing, organizing, and maintaining homes with excessive amounts of stuff.:

If you have been living under a rock, this show goes inside the homes of Hoarders and tries to get them to throw their shit out. And we aren’t talking a collection of National Geographic or newspapers. No these folks hoard everything from receipts to animals, some in the freezer dead. Now, obviously these folks have mental health issues so no judging on that. But it did make me take a long look at my life and ask myself why I keep some of the things I do.Fashion, Hat, Hatstand, Png, FreeSunglasses, Glasses, Sun, Sun Protection

I can’t throw away magazines or books. Ever. If you ever wrote me a letter or card, it’s still here. It just seems rude to throw those things away. Shoes….forget it. I have never thrown away a pair of shoes. If it’s older than dirt or was given to me by a family member, whatever it is, I have it.Magazine, Newspaper, Open, Opened

The book and magazine issue was easily solved. Donate to the Library! Not every book….I can’t do that. Especially the signed copies. Shoes….just let it go. But I did clean out my desk and get rid of those 10 year old receipts for a weed eater I don’t even have anymore.

We live in a big box store world. Sam’s Costco, Wal-Mart….they all encourage us to buy in bulk. Seriously who needs 40 rolls of toilet paper. It’s not like you have to hitch up the wagon and go into town for TP anymore. There is usually a market close enough to your house that you can pop in every now and again to get some supplies.

A friend has challenged me to the 1 year of living simply. And after she told me I could keep all of my shoes/handbags/jewelry/clothes, I agreed. I have to stick to a budget, I made a Needs vs. Wants list. So we shall see how this goes! Any helpful tips will be appreciated.

Typography Print Motivational Wall Decor Keep by TheMotivatedType: xxxP

The Journey of My Left Eye

Yesterday I was so excited to go to the Clinic. I just knew we were going to get good news. However, that was not the case. Tomorrow we will see if I need to have the surgery.

Before I get into the whining and moaning portion of the story, let me just say this, Dean McGee Eye Institute is one of the best places in the country if you have an eye issue. Everyone who works there is calm, kind, and understanding. Just walking in the building you feel calm. It’s quiet and smells really nice! From the Techs to the Residents to the long time Doctors, everyone is so caring.

Yesterday we were there for 3 and 1/2 hours. They did the usual exam and took their measurements. Then they spoke the words ” I think it’s time Dr. L, the Corneal Surgeon came in”. So in he comes, lovely man, gentle hands, giving orders. First I had to go have pictures taken of my eye. Like real Digital Camera pictures. Then it was off to the Ultrasound Lab. Never had an ultrasound of your eye? Well, it’s exactly what you would think. I got back to my room and in comes all 4 doctors. One numbs my eye and the next one is calling for a speculum. Speculum? I am only familiar with that term in the OB/GYN office, but nope, there is one for your eye. Still metal and from the look on OU Boy’s face, it must have been bad. He was shaking his head NO! Then they laid out the tiny metal scrapers so they could scrap the eye for cultures again. OU Boy is looking everywhere except in my direction. 

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After all of that, my doctor said, well I want you to come in Friday and we’ll see if I’m just going to have to go in and cut out the bad part and let that heal and then do a corneal transplant. All because after a month, I still am not sterile. Now in my head I am yelling What??? I’ve been taking 5 different antibiotics for a month, how much more sterile can I get? I left in tears and woke up this morning with the exact amount of pain you would expect from having your eyeball scraped.

Most days I am on top of this thing. Today is not that day. I hurt and I’m scared and I don’t have time for this mess!

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Thank you all for listening to me whine. Now I’m going to go cut my hair, because it keeps getting caught in the eye patch. Let’s see how that goes.

 

A Pirate’s Tale

It’s been almost 3 weeks since the eye incident. Still blind in the left eye, so if you are planning any shenanigans, that would be the side to stick to.

Yesterday I was hoping for good news. I mean 3 weeks is a long time. I’ve had a marriage that didn’t last that long! If you know me at all you know I have an issue with boredom. I can love someone/something madly and wildly on Monday and by Friday I’m like…Meh…

So this wake up every hour for drops in your eye stuff was getting old. The good Doctors Bailey and Patel were up yesterday. I especially like their nurse as she always has numbing drops up her sleeve or someplace on her. Trust me when these guys start their poking and pulling and prodding, you want those numbing drops. A side fact, they don’t prescribe them or give them away. Never! Anyhow, most  of these torture sessions last from 3 to 5 hours. I think a lot of it is them calling their friends in to take a look. Of course, they do ask if I mind. I’m the girl with the “worst corneal ulcer ever”. I’m thinking of selling tickets.

In the end, the thing is now about 3 and 1/2 mm. It started at 6 mm. Whoo Hoo! So I got to come home and have the drops stopped overnight and I will use a salve for that.

So I came home and slept for 12 hours straight. It felt really good except for all the white powder I woke up in. Either there was a wild, coke party in my bed last night or Corbin was eating powdered donuts in bed. Image result for boy eating powdered donuts

Through this process I have had to make my own fun. Like playing with Doctors. My first one was Dr. Jason Smart.Immediately he became Dr. Jason Bourne. Try paging that guy in a waiting room full of old men. Better than Viagra! Or just going to sit in the waiting room and wait for someone to ask why  you are there. Answer: I’m just here to get drugs. All eyes were on us. One lady even asked if we could do that. 

The next best thing was the Uber drivers. Obviously I can’t see anything so they take me back and forth to the hospital. Most are top notch. Good people who know where they are going and don’t talk to me. However….there have been a few. One who kept touching my arm and calling me ” Little Lady”, who even offered to take me anywhere anytime. I don’t think so. Then there was the guy who had just put out a blunt and didn’t say a word. The other guy told me a racist joke and was just a nightmare. The worst was a guy whose name I can’t pronounce but he wasn’t from the States and had a green soccer shirt on. We left the hospital and next thing I knew we were on MLK Blvd. We were in the Hood. And he was lost. And I couldn’t see crap. Thank goodness someone knew where we were and how to get home.

But the absolute best was getting in the car and it was someone I knew and hadn’t seen in a few years. He and his family have been friends of mine for a long time. He knew exactly where to go and how to get there and once we got home he opens his glove box and says, ” Hey I just got back from Denver the other day, want some candy?” Now that is some good Uber service!Image result for marijuana candy

Thanks for all of your comments and concerns, it really does mean a lot to me.  xxooP