A Pirate’s Life: Update.

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A note to let you know that our Pirate has been in hospital since Monday.with a Corneal Ulcer.Tuesday she was moved by ambulance to a higher care trauma hospital. At this time she has no vision in her left eye. As soon as the infection gets under control they will be doing a corneal transplant.  We will update as we can. At this time they are keeping ger comfortable as possible. Thank you to everyone who have sent prayers and love.  Our lovely ambulance ride is a story all own it’s own.

Thank you M. (PA)

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Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer? by Portia Porter, Esq.

Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer? Tales of How Cunning Clien... by Portia Porter

Given the title one might think this is a self-help book for the cheapskate looking to get a divorce without spending a dime. However it is more about what it is like to start your own practice and avoid getting ripped off by clients and the legal system.

Part Fiction, part inside look at our judicial system and a lot of tongue in cheek hilarity! Having spent most of my life surrounded by divorce attorneys for one reason or another, I laughed so hard that I had to call a few paralegals just to read them spots. “But your Honor, we have the fax logs.” Used that one more than once.

I had no idea there was a legal comedy genre, but there is and this book fits nicely in that category. The judicial system in small towns is probably not that different from big cities, it’s just more likely that in a smaller town everyone knows everyone and things have been done a certain way for a long time. When you are the new lawyer on the block, it is hard. Neither clients nor judges come with little hashtags over their heads letting us know how honorable their intentions are. Wouldn’t it be lovely if they did?

There is nothing I like better than to be entertained and learn something along the way. And this book has hit every mark with me.

Whether you are a law student, a lawyer or think you may be in need of one some day this is your book. If you want a good laugh, this is your book. i am looking forward to more from Ms. Porter!

About The Author:

Portia Porter obtained her Ph.D. from The University of Chicago, a law degree from The University of Virginia, and practiced corporate and antitrust law with a top New York Wall Street law firm before opening her own divorce law practice. She practiced divorce law for about fifteen years before finally saying to herself: “You can’t divorce them all!”

If you have a divorce-related question that you are afraid to own up to, Portia is the one you should ask.

Portia lives in Ducklingburg, South Duck.

You can follow her on Amazon or Goodreads.

 

The Beauty of The End by Debbie Howells

The Beauty of the End

Having read The Bones of You  by Debbie Howells and loved it, I was so happy to receive a copy of her new book The Beauty of the End, from Netgalley/Kensington.

The book is a psychological thriller. Told from the point of view of the main character, Noah, former attorney turned novelist and drunk. He has been hiding away from the world for years, clinging to a lost love from his past.

When he one day receives a call from an old friend/enemy, Will, telling him that April is in the hospital in a coma and is a suspect in her step-father’s murder.

He of course goes back to his past and learns that he really knew nothing about April, Will, or himself.

Not a single one of the characters were likeable. And even though we jump back and forth through time, you pretty much know how this is going to play out. Normally I would have read 2 or 3 books in the time it took me to read this one, but I kept putting off finishing it as I just did not care what happened to these characters. This just felt a bit formulaic.

I have recently read two books with this same type of plot. Woman in a coma, old friends trying to work backwards to find out the truth about why she is there. It just felt like the same story.

The book will be out July 26, 2016

 

About The Author:

Debbie Howells

 

Debbie self-published three commercial women’s fiction novels before writing The Bones of You, her first psychological thriller.
She now writes full time from her home, in a small West Sussex village where she lives with her family.

Father’s Day Thoughts

daddymine
It’s been 6 years since Daddy left us. I can’t say the other word yet. Not any where ready for that.
Every day I think of countless things I need to ask him. How do I get these deer to stop tearing up my yard? Can I shoot a turkey out of season if it’s messing up my yard?
Did I think he would be here forever? In my head, no. In my heart, oh yes.

I don’t like this. I want to smash things…people..just anything to get this out.
I honestly didn’t think I would be like this. I am a logical person, not really prone to emotional outbursts. But I’ve never been brought to my knees like this. I think a part of me is pretending it isn’t true.
It feels like the world should have stopped. I am offended by life going on as if nothing had happened. This is monumental and has affected the rest of our own lives but life goes on for the rest of the world. I understand this in my head, again, but not in my heart.
Will we ever be whole again? I’m tired of people giving me books to read on grief. I know all the stages of grief. Is there something worse than grief? If so, that’s what this is. Heartbreak. Sharp, gut wrenching, take your breath away pain.
I don’t want to hear the platitudes that come with a death in the family. I am aware that what I want is irrational, and I don’t care. I want to stomp my feet, throw myself on the ground and scream until someone pays attention and gives me back my father.

And on some days I find myself doing the same thing I would do at age 5. Yelling, ” Wait for me, Daddy, I want to go with you”, and the funny thing is I feel like he is just right there…right on the edge of somewhere..waiting.
That’s all for today..I love you Daddy..

daddysailor
Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

How Much I love You

How much I love you I can’t say:
It’s more than words can hold.
You’re all at once my rich, red clay,
My potter and my mold.

Yours the words that shaped my voice,
The spirit within mine.
Yours the will that shaped my choice,
My fortune, and my sign.

How lucky I was to have had you
At the core of me!
Wise and good, you always knew
Just what I could be.

And so I came to be someone
Whom I could be proud of.
For this I give my swollen sum
Of gratitude and love.

The Language of Love

Reading....i want him (future  guy) do this for me....and i would not mind doing it for him.:

It was the pure language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and with no need for words, she recognized the same.

He was more certain of it than anything in the whole world. He had been told he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who have felt that way have never learned the Universal Language. Because, when you know that language, it is easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it is in the middle of a desert or in some great city.

And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by One Hand only. It is the Hand that evokes Love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, dreams would have no meaning.

THE VACATION FROM HELL

It is Summer once again, the time when children are out of school, teachers are recovering in their own ways ( Hey, no judging here!) and people begin taking Vacations.

I had not thought about my last vacation, and I am playing extremely loose with that word, until yesterday when the good Skipah, over at Skipahsrealm ( No he isn’t part of my Pirate crew but runs his own ship quite nicely!) wrote a post mentioning he was packing up Ms. Madison and their motley crew of 3, and heading to the ultimate vacation spot, the exotic state of  Wisconsin. Land of cheese curds and cheese heads.

That got me thinking (don’t say it!) about the last vacation I had that wasn’t combined with a funeral. And here is how that went.

A group of friends were going to the lake to camp for a week. Seriously all I heard was Lake. I had no idea what camping involved but Walmart did and $250 later I had all the things I would need to be a camper. I had so much stuff in the back of the truck I’m sure people on the interstate thought I was moving.

The gray tent is mine and the red one is Mike’s. I brought a queen sized blow up bed. 800 thread count white sheets and pillows, with a white down filled comforter. My friends are still giving me grief about that, but just because you’re in the woods is no reason to sacrifice comfort!

My organizational skills did not  go unnoticed by the other campers. My vintage tablecloth was the talk of the park.

We are most definitely City People, notice the can of lighter fluid we used to make fire.

I think the other campers thought we were planning on moving in. Notice the vintage tablecloth!

 The only part I enjoyed.

If you haven’t been camping before, heck, why start now?! Besides the lack of electricity, the gazillion bugs, both flying and crawling, not to mention the family of raccoons who casually climbed up on the picnic table in the night and helped themselves to my banana bread… there is the sunburn part, where you dare someone to touch you or even breathe in your general direction because it is 102 degrees and you are sweating like a whore in church ( No offense intended) and then night falls and you are freezing your bum off.. because of said sunburn. We won’t even talk  about the toilet facilities. A toilet and a bucket of water to flush it. This is me the first night. Had to borrow a big hoodie and of course it had to have the name of the college that my college despises on it, but hey I was cold and obviously calling for help. ( notice phone)

This is me the second night.

I’m next to the pool. I’m calling it camping. In the end, camping is a dirty, buggy, messy, costly affair, it’s basically just sleeping in the woods. Hello serial killers!!!

But no matter, I’ve been to Wisconsin, I would still take the camping.

xoxo P

Jane Steel A Novel by Lyndsay Faye

Jane Steele by [Faye, Lyndsay]

A reimagining of Jane Eyre as a gutsy, heroic serial killer says the NYT about Jane Steel.

“Reader, I murdered him”.  What a great opening!

Jane Steel has suffered more loss and ugliness in her life at age 9 than most people will in a lifetime. The loss of a Father she doesn’t remember and then her beautiful, sensitive French Mother has left her too tender for her overbearing Aunt and horrid cousin.

When her Aunt sends her to Lowan Bridge School, a boarding school that sounds like Gitmo,  she is left to fight for her life. Unable to bear any more, she commits another murder and runs away to London, leaving the dead behind her.

She hides for years, waiting for that knock on the door from the Law, all the while writing morbid “confessions” of the recently hanged, which are published in the paper daily.

Then her Aunt dies and Jane finds out there is a new Master of Highgate House who is looking for a governess for his 9 year old ward. Jane’s mother always told her that the house would one day be hers and now she intends to find out if she is the rightful owner.

This is a satirical romance about things we all can relate to, the lies we tell, the guilt we live with, who we really are and are the lines between good and bad a tad blurry.

While it is most definitely a Gothic piece and Miss Jane begins her killing very early in life, I laughed so hard. My favorite parts were the blurbs above each chapter. My favorite?

” Do you know where the wicked go after death?”

” They go to hell, was my ready and orthodox answer…”

” What must you do to avoid it?”

 I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable: ” I must keep in good health, and not die.”

This is one of those books that I kept saying to my reading partner, Hey you have to listen to this! It’s that good!

About The Author

Lyndsay Faye moved to Manhattan in 2005 to audition for theatre work; she found her days more open when the powers that be elected to knock her day-job restaurant down with bulldozers. Her first novel Dust and Shadow: an Account of the Ripper Killings by Dr. John H Watson is a tribute to the aloof genius and his good-hearted friend whose exploits she has loved since childhood. Faye’s love of her adopted city led her to research the origins of the New York City Police Department, the inception of which exactly coincided with the start of the Irish Potato Famine. The Gods of Gotham, Seven for a Secret, and The Fatal Flame follow ex-bartender Timothy Wilde as he navigates the rapids of his violently turbulent city, his no less chaotic elder brother Valentine Wilde, and the perils of learning police work in a riotous and racially divided political landscape. The first book of the trilogy was nominated for an Edgar Award for Best Novel and has been published in 14 languages. Her lasting affection for Jane Eyre led her to re-imagine the heroine as a gutsy, heroic serial killer in Jane Steele.

After growing up in the Pacific Northwest, Lyndsay worked as a professional actress throughout the Bay Area for several years, nearly always in a corset, and if not a corset then at the very least heels and lined stockings. As her roles ranged from Scrooge’s lost fiancée in A Christmas Carol to Lavinia DuPlessy in Andrew Lippa’s world premiere of A Little Princess, whalebone prevented her from drawing a natural breath for a number of years. She is a soprano with a high pop belt, if it interests you. Her performances were generally reviewed well, with adjectives ranging from “soaring” and “delightful” to “sausage-curled.”

Lyndsay and her husband, artist Gabriel Lehner, live in Queens with their cats, Grendel and Prufrock. During the few hours a day Lyndsay isn’t writing or editing, she is most often cooking, or sampling new kinds of microbrew, or thinking of ways to creatively mismatch her clothing. She is a very proud member of AEA, MWA, ASH, GWN, and BSI (Actor’s Equity Association, Mystery Writers of America, the Adventuresses of Sherlock Holmes, Girls Write Now, and the Baker Street Irregulars, respectively).